*sigh.

I guess I could have predicted today would be like this this morning. Everything about today was just sub-par. Right from when I woke up.

So tonight Tanya, Erika and I had plans, but Tanya and I are both feeling antisocial so we just decided not to do anything. For both of us, we are having one of those nights where we feel a mixture of sadness and laziness. And the sadness I think is best described the way Bri(anna) put it:

bri is a horcrux (8:05:58 PM): why are you sad?

ANNAis tehROXORZ (8:01:20 PM): i don't even know

ANNAis tehROXORZ (8:01:29 PM): but i think i need some time to myself

bri is a horcrux (8:06:18 PM): yeah i hate that

bri is a horcrux (8:06:31 PM): when you dont even know why your sad? but it just tears you up inside?

bri is a horcrux (8:06:35 PM): and you have nothing to do about it?

ANNAis tehROXORZ (8:01:53 PM): *sigh

ANNAis tehROXORZ (8:01:54 PM): yes

I don't know. I just feel kind of discontent. I think part of it might have something to do with so many of my friends being off at college. Not necessarily that I miss them, I mean, it's been like three weeks for Christ's sake. It's more that I feel kind of left behind I guess. I want to be off exploring the city and having adventures! I'm sick of Roscoe, and being stuck here. Why am I unlucky enough to reside in such a shitty area? I mean, the one thing I love about it is the people. Everything else just seriously sucks. You have to drive everywhere, there's nothing to do, and the stuff there is to do costs money... and the gas here is more expensive than about 90% of America. How unlucky can I get?
I want to live somewhere like Madison. There's so much to do! And people drive, but not very often, at least not downtown. Everyone walks, takes the bus, rides bikes. And the entire city is just so liberal. It's my kind of place.
Anywhere but here would be nice right about now.

I don't know. I just need some variety; everything is so monotonous. "Hey guys want to do something?" "Sure! K our choices are movie, dinner or park. Pick one."
*shoots self in head.
I want to try something new. Find somewhere new to hang out. Have new fun.
I want more friends. I want new and exciting things.
And God knows I won't find new or exciting here.

Maybe once I can drive. I can start getting out of here on a more regular basis. Trips to Chicago, Madison, Milwaukee. Even just to the middle of nowhere.
Anything to break the monotony.

And most of all right now, I wish my parents would give me more freedom. Good God. You can't keep control of me forever. It's like they're begging for me to rebel. Here's let's make Anna's curfew 11, and even though she has one control where she goes, too. No, you with who? You can't go. Why do you want to go there? What're you going to do?
God, just let go.

hmm well, I guess that's all for now.

Posted at 8:49 PM